The kind of love one needs

  • Feb 03, 2023
It’s 2023, and a month has gone by already with many resolutions being broken, some barely making it to reality and some more just being a mere idea and nothing else. As February steps in no one needs a reminder of what the month signifies. Everyone talks about roses, chocolates, romantic dates, crushes and finding a partner to celebrate the special day with but when do we realize that more than all of that one needs to enjoy his own company, go on dates by themselves and most importantly love oneself first.
Jean-Jacques Rousseau talks about ‘Amour de soi’ a concept in his philosophy that translates to Self-love i.e one's feelings for himself, without any care or concerns about how he is perceived by others. As humans it is quite natural to seek love from others but are we really ready to accept another human into our lives when we have failed to make efforts to understand and accept ourselves first, to completely let go of inhibitions and embrace our faults and flaws?. We want to be loved, accepted, understood and cared for by others but completely fail to do that with ourselves. Although the concept of self-love is becoming more relevant since the past few years, there is a large group of people who still do not know how to love themselves. It takes small steps, few minor changes and a large accepting heart to embrace ourselves the way we are. Let us start by doing things that makes us happy, stop worrying about others opinions of us or our choices, allowing ourselves to make mistakes, letting go of our stupid errors and  stale past, not setting up high standards for ourselves by comparing with others, accepting our body, skin tone and being comfortable the way we are, putting ourselves first in every situation, enjoying the pain and joy and the process that got us there and finally by not being afraid to let go of toxic people and relationships, no matter how close they are.
Thus, we always need to remember that we are our first friend, trusting ourselves to make the choice that suits us the best and to always be kind to ourselves. Don’t wait for others to pat your back, to see how good you are and what you are capable of! Instead go ahead and give yourself a pat on the back, celebrate when you achieve a new height, take yourself on a fancy date, go on that solo trip you’ve been desiring to go for years and mostly stop thinking about what will “THEY” say? Only then will we be able to accept us with all our shortcomings and still love ourselves to the fullest because as Rupi Kaur says “How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you”.
Contributed by Clarin Simon Brown
Mental Health Practitioner, Carpediem EdPsych Consultancy LLP

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